Still Losing...Still Gaining

Wow! It's almost been a year since I've posted and so much has transpired. My children experienced various challenges, but there were triumphs, too. I've had health issues, mainly related to "the change of life," (things my mother never told me - or got the chance to). My daughter, a junior in high school, had a rough start to her academic year, but she finished strong, obtaining her driver's license and two jobs (although she gave up one). So I can breathe easier where it concerns her. My college son, who is an athlete, did not get much play time this past season. But you know what? I learned from him. His attitude is terrific.

I'm one of the millions of individuals that lost their home to foreclosure (in December). It was that, or get deeper in debt trying to make repairs, pay mortgage, taxes and insurance.  My mortgage company did not want to work with me. I didn't see a way and I couldn't get help refinancing, except if I wanted to file bankruptcy, and I didn't want to do that! I kept having major floods in the home and found out that the foundation had a crack in it. What a drag!  I'm glad for the day Holy Spirit said, "Let it go!"  What a relief.

Well, I'm just going to call this season, "Fresh Start" and begin all over again!

Helen

(Originally written in June, 2008)

Widow. Widower. Widowhood...

...is not an easy journey, but neither is it a bad word. Widow(er)s, we are not alone. There are millions of us. And we have our good days, bad days, lonely days and nights; but there are also those times when you just want to be alone (like tonight). Have you experienced those reflective days that externalize every inward emotion - within minutes, sometimes seconds of each other? No, you're not schizophrenic. We're just trying to work-out being "whole" again. And you can be - WHOLE - again!

It's been three years of widowhood and today I feel great. I can liberally speak of my husband without the feeling of grief once associated with his absence, and without guilt of my newfound freedom and joy of singleness! And no, I'm not cheating on him, if I do decide to engage in conversation with another man. Although I've had my share of ups and downs, I've settled into my singleness after 26 years of marriage, and I'm LIVING, again, but this time in a different state of being.

Come on and walk the path with me or let me journey with you down the road of widowhood.



Helen...Your Black Widow